Reading

I just finished reading keeping faith by Jodi picoult. It started of as an okay read. It was very heavy on religion and that sort of caused some disinterest for me.

But halfway through the book, they started developing a romance plot for the main characters and it was then that I got sucked into the book. So much so that it was partially to blame for my sleepless night last night.

Needless to say, I've finished reading the book and I now feel somewhat empty.

This is the problem with me unfortunately. Reading for me is both pleasurable and torturous all at the same time. The former because I usually really get into the story and start feeling as I am with the characters or I'm one of them. This is also exactly the reason for the latter.

I start imagining myself as being the one in love. As of right now, I'm missing Ian Fletcher. The love interest in the book. I even 'stalked' him in an appearance he made in one of Jodi Picoult's later books.

I have a feeling this is rather unhealthy. I have an urge to reread the book just to revisit Ian but at the same time I feel I shouldn't cause I need my mind to get back to real life. It's currently stuck in perfect romance mode. Smooth guy, always saying the right thing.

I wonder if anyone ever feels this way? I wouldn't be surprised if no one else didn't though. I know I'm a little weird.

I guess, it's the same thing with the many ladies swooning over the charms of Seth Tan couple of months back.

A few years back I read Bridget Jone's Diary and started behaving weird to my husband cause I was so 'into character'.

I just hope my mind returns soon. Till then, I'll just stay away from iBooks for a while.

Handmade iPad stylus

My SigOth (significant other) gave me an iPad 2 for mother's day. It has been in my possession for about 4 days now. One of the apps I love for the iPad is penultimate. I love being able to sketch ideas. Unfortunately, I hate using my finger because it's hard to translate my drawings with my finger. So I was on the lookout for a stylus.

Yesterday, while at lowyat shopping for SigOth's computer bag, I spied a stylus from kensington, meant for the iPad. It was RM79.80. We decided a little too late that we should buy it, so we didn't. I did however make a mental note of it so we could get it some time in the future.

Fast forward to later that night, as I was lying awake in bed buzzed from too much coffee and bubble tea, I decided to ask google if he knew how to make a stylus for the iPad. Lo-behold, a slew of tutes came up. But most of it called for conductive foam, which can be found in computer chips packaging. Unfortunately, I don't have any lying around at home. I soon found out that what I needed was conductive surface to get my inputs to the iPad.

I tried various mediums, from aluminium foil to playdoh. They all worked but didn't work well enough. Then SigOth told me about using 3M sponges. It seemed like a good solution but that would mean having to get it from a shop as we didn't have any at home. Annoyed, but excited I went to bed at 5 a.m. Got my sponge today and made several styluses for use. They work great! So I decided to write a tutorial for my friends that want to make their own too.


The stylus I made for SigOth.


The stylus I made for myself.

Enough rambling. So are you ready to make your own? Well here goes!

To make the stylus you will need:

An empty pen/mechanical pencil barrel. It would be better if it was metal or aluminum
A scotchbrite 3M sponge. Blue or yellow.
Metal/copper wire
Scissors

Once you have gathered all your material, you're ready to start.


This is what the sponges look like. They can be found in the cleaning department of the supermarket. The top sponge is yellow in color. The bottom one is blue. They both work but I prefer the blue one. I explain why below. Please remember that you're only suppose to cut the soft spongy part. The green scouring pad is not used.

First thing you need to do is unscrew the pen to expose an opening so you can stuff the foam in. In the picture above, you'll notice 2 types of pens. One of them is a regular ballpoint pen. It has a metal barrel. The other is a shaffer (sp?) refill. Both worked fine. I decided to use the bottom half of the ballpoint pen as my stylus body. The black body with the little blue stub is my completed stylus. The beauty of this is that you can use both halves of the pen to make styluses. You can then give one to someone else!

If you don't have a conductive barrel, you can still make do with a plastic one. But there is an extra step you need to take to ensure that your stylus works.

You will need to wind some wire around one end of the foam before stuffing it into the pen opening. The wire then needs to be wound around the outer body of the barrel so that it comes in contact with your hand when you are holding the stylus.

The picture above shows the wire already wound on a piece of foam.

The next step is to push the foam into the pen opening. It would be best if the foam were bigger than the opening so that it will fit snugly into the pen and not shift as much.

If you're using a plastic barrel, you should then wind the wire around the pen like the picture above.

You can choose to trim the foam till it is nicely shaped or leave it as is. Either way, it'll work fine.

Your stylus is now ready to use!

Super easy and cheap too! Thank god I didn't buy the stylus yesterday. If the foam dries out, (I'm not sure if it will) just replace it with another piece.

Some personal notes: I bought two types of foam. Yellow and blue. I found that I prefer the blue one because it was less 'wet'. It seems the foam has some sort of liquid on it. I guess this is what makes the foam conductive.

I also would suggest that you go out and get yourself an aluminum mechanical pencil as a barrel cause it just makes the thing look better. The wire isn't really a pretty sight and it's a little wobbly when used.

That's all I can think of right now. I hope this has helped. Enjoy your new stylus!

Growing up

It's 2:30 a.m. and I'm at the computer cleaning up iPhoto when I hear the boy stir and starts to cry. I head over to the bed to feed him. I then start to cry.

...

For the past couple of nights, my heart has been weighed down by thoughts of the kids growing up, and me missing how they are now. My heart starts to ache when I realize that these moments right now are fleeting and before I know it, they'll be adults, living their lives as they should.

It may seem strange to some people, how much it saddens me to see them grow up. A part of me wants to hold on to their childhood. I know growing up is part of life, but that part of me refuses to accept it. I wish there was a way to freeze time. Freeze moments in their life so that I could revisit them when they're all grown up. I find myself feeling melancholic and knowing that I'll miss the way the boy smells when he's sleeping next to me, the way the girl asks her thousands of questions, the way they play together.

I remember when Iliya was younger, how I wish she would grow up faster, so we could do things together. I couldn't wait for her to be bigger. These days, I find myself wishing the exact opposite. I am thankful however that the boy seems to be growing at a much slower pace. I seem to be experiencing more with him, than I ever remembered with Iliya. With Iliya, she seemed to grow up at blazing speed, and before I knew it, she's this smart, inquisitive, willful 4 year old.

I have no sane explanation for this odd behavior of mine. I hate thinking about the future, and the subject of death almost always brings tears to my eyes. I dread the day when my loved ones pass on. Even as I am typing this I have tears streaming down my face. Why am I such a mess?

I wonder if anyone out there feels the way I do. Or am I the odd one out? Either way, all I can do is pray to god to grant me the strength to accept such inevitability and not be so damn emotional about it. I pray that I can embrace their growing up instead of dreading it. I pray that I live everyday to its fullest and not miss out on their lives so that I won't regret it in the future.

Down time

My little boy is sick again. If you were in the loop, you'd know that just a couple of weeks back, he had a fever due to teething. And now, here he is again, warm and sick. Poor baby.

I am refraining from telling my parents about this for number of reasons. First off, they'd probably exclaim how often he falls sick. Then I'd have to listen to them tell me tales from yesteryear of how my siblings and I hardly ever fell sick. They would then go on to the importance of proper nutrition and feeding them proper food.

Basically, I hate being told I'm not doing it right. I understand that they have their Grandkids best interest at heart and only want the best for them. But I don't see why they need to chew me up in the process.

I don't feed them processed food all the time. I make sure they eat their multivitamins, drink their milk and eat their vegetables. But that's life. If they're gonna fall sick, they will.

As I type this, I'm breathing through my mouth because my nose is congested. If you follow my tweets I'm sure you would know that I've been complaining about it. Naturally, the boy has caught the bug too.

We co-sleep because he is still being breastfed and wakes up several times at night to do so. As a result, he is close to all the coughing, hacking and throat clearing that I do. It's totally unavoidable. (I would be lying if I said I was hoping he'd not catch it though.) He was coughing this morning and immediately I knew he was falling sick. True enough, he started developing a mild temperature come evening time.

Gave him some paracatemol and that brought down the temperature. But it's back up again tonight. I'm hoping he won't need anymore meds come tomorrow.

Do I have a point to this post? Not really. Perhaps, a little more understanding from the parental units would be nice. I try my best to raise my kids the best that I can but sometimes, shit happens. The best I can do then is just clean up the mess. Asking more from me is just, too much.

I know I've been complaining about my stuffy nose, sore throat and headaches, but I'd trade getting better early for my boy's speedy recovery. I hate being sick but I hate my kids being sick even more.

Remedies for my ailment, there are aplenty, but there isn't any for a worried heart. Get well soon, baby boy.

We don't have goats!

The girl was disappointed that we couldn't go to the playground due to sudden rain. This was the conversation heard between her and her cousin:

Girl: Go away rain!!
Boy: We need the rain so the trees get water. If the trees die, then we won't have fruits.
Boy: The rain also makes the grass grow. If the grass dies then the goat can't eat.
Girl: But we don't have goats?!

Birth story: The boy

Unlike his sister, whose arrival into this world was unplanned and chaotic, sid's delivery date was set 2 weeks in advance.

The doc started talking about the delivery months in advance, suggesting dates to us. We had to plan the c-sect around the husband's work schedule to ensure that he would be able to spend the longest amount of time with me as he was not entitled to any leave at that point in time.

After a lot of going back an forth, the date was set for Sept 12th, 2010. I was told to go to the hospital early in the morning to be checked in and prepped for surgery.

The night before, I started feeling very anxious and scared. This was new to me, as I didn't have any time to feel this way with iliya. Iliya's c-sect was an emergency one and when it happened I was already having mild contractions. My mind was focused on the pain instead of being anxious about the surgery that was about to happen. Needless to say, I it very little sleep that night. I was actually a little scared despite having gone through it once before.

The morning came soon enough and we hustled out of the door to get to the hospital. I was less anxious and a feeling of excitement was slowly creeping in on me.

When we got to the hospital, we checked in at the lobby. I was given my patient id tag and was wheeled to my room. There, I was instructed to get out of my clothes in into the hospital robe.

While waiting around for the nurse to come around and prep me, we entertained Iliya by snapping photos of her and with her. I was feeling rather sentimental because in a few hours she would no longer be our only child, our baby girl.

The nurses finally came and started prepping me for surgery. I was cleaned, purged, and the dreaded catheter was put in place. For some odd reason, I stupidly agreed to allow a trainee nurse to insert it. I was thinking, "I should let her cause it'll help her in her learning." It is safe to say that I regretted that decision later when she failed to get it in on the first try. It took her 2 tries to finally get it in. This is the worst part of a c-sect delivery for me. The catheter insertion. Hate it!

After some time, I was wheeled into OT. There I lay alone till it was my turn for surgery. My bed was right next to the nurses station so I could hear all the gossip that was going on. As it was close to Raya at that time, most conversations was about fireworks and rendang. There was this one nurse walking around taking orders for sparklers and noise makers.

It was finally my turn and I was moved to the operation table. Epidural was administered by a kind lady doctor who's name escapes me at this time. Soon I was feeling numb from the waist down. I started feeling cold, side effects of the epidural. My doc arrived, said hello and got to work. I could see what was going on as there was a cloth covering my bottom half.

After about 10 - 15 minutes, the doctor started pushing down on me to get baby out. Moments later, the wonderful sound of a newborns cry was heard. I did not cry this time, but that doesn't mean I was any less happy or grateful that my baby boy Ilyas Sid, was finally here.

Unlike his sister, who was born with very little hair, Sid was born with a full head of hair! That was the first thing the doctor exclaimed. "Banyaknya rambut dia nurul!" The nurse brought baby to my side, showed me his fingers, toes, and little birdy a little too close to my face. I was instructed to kiss him once and he was whisked away to nursery to be cleaned up.

After being closed up, I was wheeled into recovery where I slept for about an hour or two. I was then wheeled back to my room where the husband was already waiting for me. I was still under the effects of the epidural so I felt no pain. About an hour later though, the pain started. I didn't want to be a hero this time and asked for pain killers the moment people cleared the room.

Was able to see baby around 6-7p.m. I tried to nurse him but he was more interested in sleep. He hardly drank and when he did, it was only for a short while. I was a little worried but decided to chill and just go with his flow.

My parents arrived later that evening with my brother. They stayed a while and took the girl out to Ikea. Unfortunately, they couldn't stay over as there were some renovation being done to the house in JB, so they when back the same day.

I stayed in the hospital for two nights. The husband didn't sleep over this time as he had to be home with iliya. They visited me early morning and left before visiting hours were over. Iliya thoroughly enjoyed my stay in the hospital cause she got to eat in bed while watching tv! She even napped in my bed. Thankfully, the bed wasn't small.

Didn't get too many visit from the lactation consultant this time round but it was okay, because I already knew what to do. Breastfeeding was a breeze and I didn't suffer any sore nipples like the last time, thankfully.

The boy slept with me in the room and was only wheeled back to the nursery when he had to be weighed and checked. I even cleaned his icky black poop on my own! It was trying as I was in a lot of pain but I managed so I didn't have to send him back.

After being discharged, I stayed in shah alam for a couple of days more, to wait for Hari Raya. After having some lemang and spending some time with the family, we left for Johor where I spent the next 44 days in confinement.

And that concludes the birth story of my darling baby boy, Ilyas Sid.

The kids

She loves: shoes. He loves: bags.